Before They Were Superstars

by Gabriel, the Fallen Angel

This week's guest is Kane

Before They Were Superstars is an interview show about the lives of your favorite WWF personas before they made it big. The hosts of this show are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.
This week's guest: Kane.

All interviews are conducted in the Before They Were Superstars Studio. Transcripts available at TheBanshee.net.

Jim Ross: Welcome to Before They Were Superstars. King and I would like to thank The Sidhe Corporation for sponsoring this show. We think it's great and are happy to be a part of it. Our guest tonight is the Big Red Machine, Kane. Welcome, Kane.

Kane (raises voicebox to throat): Thank... you,... Jim.

JR: So Kane, tell us what you did before you became a WWF superstar?

Jerry Lawler: I bet I know. He was the spokesperson for 'Stop, drop and roll.' Hehheh....

JR: King....

Kane: I... was... a... teacher.

JR: A teacher. I never would have guessed that.

JL: Heh...I bet I know what he taught...fire safety. All those kids would learn by your example. Only you can prevent forest fires...hehheh....

JR: King, that's enough. Tell us, Kane. Where did you teach and what subject?

JL: He probably taught at the fire house. I was told the dalmation was really 'hot" for him. Get it.....hot? Heheh....

JR: King, I'm going to gag you. Go ahead, Kane.

Kane: I... taught... at... I.N.Ferno... High... School... in... Hot... Springs.

JL: Does it burn you up to think about it? Heheh....

Kane (cracks his knuckles): I.... taught.... Speech... for... high ...school... students... and... English... as... a... second... language... for... immigrants.

JR: Really? That is very interesting. Isn't it King?

JL (doubled over laughing)

JR: King?

King still laughing.

JR: Ladies and gentleman it seems King is at a loss for words.

JL: Oh no.....:::laughs::: I'm not! This is hysterical! (crown falls on floor)

JR (frowns): King, I don't see how this is hysterical. The man was a teacher. So what?

JL: (still laughing) : Oh, it's hilarious :::wipes tears from eyes:::....imagine being taught speech by a char-broiled weenie with a voice box! :::laughs some more:::

JR (shakes his head): Do you have any famous students?

Kane: Yes,.... Denis... Leary.

JL: Oh! :::Laughs::: That's where he got that voice box bit from! Priceless :::continues to laugh::::

Kane(shifts uncomfortably)

JR: King, that's enough already. Any other famous students?

JL: Yeah, Nat King Cole. He sang..."Kane's nuts roasting on an open fire..."

JR: King! :::duct tapes King's mouth:::: Please go ahead, Kane. Our time is nearly up.

Kane: Trey... Parker... and... Matt... Stone.

JR: Oh, the creators of South Park. Very interesting.

JL mumbles sounding like a familiar orange-clad character from South Park.

JR: That's all we have time for this week. I'd like to thank our guest, Kane for being here with us tonight. Goodnight, everyone.

Next week's guests on Before They Were Superstars are the New Age Outlaws!

This story is pure fiction and was written for the entertainment of WWF Fans.